If this was what “Everyman” was like, I would have killed myself years ago. In fact, these characters are just craptastic stick figures drawn by a small child with a crayon.
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These useless ciphers are right out of central casting, which has led some reviewers to claim that they’re Everyman characters of the sort in H.G. The flat characters of Blair Witch are magnificently sublime and amazingly complex compared to the annoying yuppie fuckbags of Cloverfield. With Cloverfield I never even got that far the flick had me hooked before I ever walked in the door, and managed to completely alienate me in the first 3 minutes. That’s how I felt about Blair Witch, right until I hurled my cookies around the beginning of Act 2. I was excited to see Cloverfield because I thought this handheld camera thing was a great idea, maximizing the storytelling possibilities of democratized media and just generally shaking things up. The buzz all over the net is that this thing is a harrowing, brilliant thrill ride in fact, as far as I’m concerned it’s an embarrassing, amateurish piece of crap.īy “amateurish” I don’t mean “lo-fi.” The alternative format is the only thing the flick had going for it.
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Wow, it’s been some months since I felt that jacked by a movie. Once again giving credence to the ravings of lunatics as well as the occasional heart-warming personal essay, I went to see Cloverfield tonight.